Contradictator (contradictator) wrote,

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the rundown

New years eve. feeling kind of unsettled. stomach doesnt sit right, i decide to stay at home, probably would have if i didn't feel ill. Uneventful new years passing.  Stomach churns a littl emore at about 12:30. aside from 2 beers much earlier in the night, i am drinking water.ours.

At about 1:15 i run to the bathroom, this repeats every 30 minutes for the next 6 hours.  4 hour later, more nasuea, i run to vomit, and make it with plenty o time. The increased pressure from all the blood rushing to my face cause my nose to start pouring blood, while i am vomiting, the toilet bowl swirls vomit and blood together, the vomiting ends quickly, but by the time its done the toilet is more blood tinted. i unpinch and it has stopped bleeding, i ease my way through the next day, by friday i feel almost alright. havent eaten anything since new years eve. appetite is small, manage to eat a few things.

saturday is just as unproductive, i take a short jog, but i can feel i am weak, and dont go to far. Someone i know breaks the dam on bullshit and mentally i break and lose interest. evaluate, take good stock. nothing could have worked any other way. This was all a necessity. all of my decisions were right here. and it plants this leg firmly.
Sunday i clean. i dissasemble vacuums and polish wood and reorganize, retake and resimplify. i take a jog, do the dishes and sit down before noon. i wait and wait and wait until i sleep, and i sleep excellently. i wake up this morning with horrible heartburn, an inconsiderate burp makes me vomit again, mostly water, but having the same effect on my nose this time, but it was better, i wasn't alone.

i can still smell it. the blood and the vomit. its like seawater in the sinuses, but dense. i snort water and have some luck.
i am happy and i am alive. this was purging the bile of the last year so this one has a nice clean slate to get fucked up!
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